"In lieu of flowers" means "instead of flowers." Families add one short line near the end of the obituary, after the service details, that names the fund and includes the link. For example: "In lieu of flowers, the family asks that gifts be made to the [Name] Memorial Fund at [link]."
Where the Wording Goes
Most families place the line after the service details and before the funeral home information. That is where readers look for how to help. Keep it to one or two sentences and always include the link or QR code so people can give right away.
Our family wrote Steve's obituary together. We put one sentence about the fund near the very end, right after the service times: "A memorial fund has been established in Steve's honor to support his children's education." Then we added the link. It was short and clear, and people found it.
Sam Farrington, FounderSimple Wording
In lieu of flowers, the family asks that gifts be made to the [Name] Memorial Fund at [link].
In lieu of flowers, gifts may be made at [link].
Instead of flowers, the family welcomes gifts to [Name]'s memorial fund at [link].
A memorial fund has been established in [Name]'s honor. Contributions may be made at [link].
When Gifts Support the Children
A memorial fund has been established in [Name]'s honor to support his children's education. Contributions may be made at [link].
In lieu of flowers, gifts may be made to a fund for [Name]'s children and their future at [link].
[Name] loved nothing more than being a mom. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that gifts be made to a fund for her children at [link].
When Gifts Help With Costs
Those who wish to help may give to a fund for funeral costs and family expenses at [link].
In lieu of flowers, gifts to help the family in the months ahead may be made at [link].
The family is raising funds to bring [Name] home. Gifts may be made at [link].
Warm and Personal Wording
[Name] always put others first. In that spirit, the family welcomes gifts to their memorial fund at [link] in place of flowers.
[Name] would have said flowers were too much fuss. If you would like to honor him, the family has set up a fund at [link].
In lieu of flowers, please keep the family in your prayers. Those who wish may also give to a memorial fund at [link].
When Flowers Are Also Welcome
Flowers are welcome. For those who prefer, gifts may also be made to the family at [link].
Flowers may be sent to [funeral home]. Gifts to the family's memorial fund are also welcome at [link].
Common Questions
Is it rude to ask for money instead of flowers?
No. It is common and most people appreciate knowing what will actually help. A short, kind line is all it takes.
What does "in lieu of" mean?
It means "instead of." "In lieu of flowers" tells people the family would prefer a gift over flowers.
Should I say gifts are tax-deductible?
Only if the gifts go to a registered charity. Gifts to a family memorial fund are not tax-deductible, so leave that out.
Can I use a QR code in a printed obituary?
Yes. Printed obituaries and service programs often include one so people can give from their phone.